In 1937, a conglomerate of greeting card companies, florists, and chocolate manufacturers met with the Catholic Church and the US Postal Service in a private room in a Boston restaurant to concoct one of the darkest conspiracies in modern history.

Outlining a dark plan to forge historical documents reaching back to the year 270 AD, this cabal of powerful gentlemen sought a new source of revenue and a way to mold their burgeoning corporations into massive multinational empires.

It was Mr 'H' himself who proposed the radical idea of mixing religion, sex, and commerce in a devious and brilliant fashion, forming the foundation of a dominating force that would change the future of the retail industry and forever line the pockets of all involved.

His plan, quickly applauded by his co-conspirators, involved a fictional saint named 'St. Valentine', an ages-old Christian 'tradition', and a constructed timeline extending into modern times.

Using the combined resources of the US government, and the world's wealthiest church and most powerful corporations, it took the conglomerate little time to alter history as we know it, constructing a supposedly traditional holiday - centred around commerce - with ties going back to the year 498 AD.

Today, across the world, more than one billion greeting cards change hands, and the sales of roses, stuffed bears, and chocolate rise tenfold on a single day. Today, tens of billions of dollars are spent, based solely on a singular lie. Today, the conglomerate grows bigger and more powerful than ever, and its ultimate goal comes ever closer:

World domination.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!  ¶ 13:15