"Lessons"

Sometimes in life, you've got to take chances. The thing about chances is, once you start taking them, they usually pay off in some way or another. Failing is an option, and it doesn't necessarily have to be a bad one. Every experience counts, and it's better to try and fail than to never try at all.

Why am I talking about this?

Because I just failed to take a chance that I should have taken, and I'm feeling very, very stupid.

I don't normally shy away from chances. I have no problem taking a chance on something. (Unless failure means I get crushed or mangled or broken, and I wind up dead, which definitely rules out sky-diving.) So when I fail to take a chance with something that wouldn't have killed me if I'd fallen flat on my face, some silly thing that might have ended up changing my life (or, if nothing else, changed my day for the better), then, well, that's a real waste. I feel stupid. And a little bit angry with myself.

Life should have a rewind button. It wouldn't need to work more than five or ten minutes, enough for your mind to go "oh, wait!", and to realise that, yup, you should have jumped at the opportunity, taken a chance, never mind if you fail or succeed. To try is sometimes enough. And, more often than not, trying pays off.

Oh, well. Spilt milk and all that. It was a thing, and now it's passed. What was it? Not gonna say. Hey - you think I'd put my private life in a public journal? Pft. Okay, so I probably would, but not everything. Not most of it. Some of it. The edited bits. Just the bits I want you to know about.

I just saw Auto Focus...and that was a hard movie to watch. It was good. I think. Something that has the power to make you feel that bad must be good. It was both funny and utterly, utterly depressing. The final fifteen to twenty minutes were almost unbearable. I squirmed in my seat. But afterwards - watching something that dark, afterwards you feel better about yourself. You don't feel so bad about your own life anymore. You feel like there's a big gulf between your life and lives that no longer contain anything of value, any good, any shred of real happiness. And that, I guess, is one reason to see the movie. It puts things into perspective.

One last thing. Do me a favour. If, today or tomorrow or next week, you suddenly have a chance, an opportunity, to do something that you wouldn't normally do, or something that you don't know if you'll be able to pull off, or something that frightens you a tiny bit - do it. Keep me in mind, and just do it. Don't think about it. Jump into it. (Not literally; no sky-diving, please.) Go for it. No regrets, no worries. If you fail...so what? You'll know that you tried, and that will make you feel great. And if you succeed - well, hey, remember who told you to do it!

Good luck.  ¶ 21:17