I tried to get a grip on The Dark Places (or The Dark; I'm not sure which title I'm going to go with) yesterday, but I was a bit stuck. The script -- for a feature-length low-budget movie -- is complete, but I'm doing a page-one rewrite, and I'm starting to think I should begin with a blank page rather than try to alter what's already there. It was frustrating, but I'm going at it again this afternoon.  ¶ 13:25   

  I figured I needed a break from that marathon-typing session Sunday night (Monday morning, actually), but now I'm back, refreshed, awake, and still pissed off that LOTR didn't win for best picture. Luckily, I'm on holiday, and there's no one to wake me up at any reasonable hour. Good thing, too, because I'm sleep-deprived, and I need as much shut-eye as it's possible to get. You can tell I'm off work, 'cause I haven't shaved in three days, and I don't intend to shave anytime soon.

It's a beautiful day in Oslo today; warm, sunny, and I spent half the day walking around, doing very little.

Yawn. Back to being lazy.  ¶ 17:37   

  Hopefully the last segment coming up now, with best director and best film. Here we go...director -- Peter Jackson, fingers crossed, Peter Jackson! And the Oscar goes to...Ron Howard? Boooooo! Okay, so I didn't go see A Beautiful Mind yet, but...booo! Hiss! Grrr. This means that LOTR won't win the top award. Of course, they've got two more chances; next year and the year after. But it would've been fun to scoop the awards three years in a row. Oh well.

Now. Best film. Bring it on. I'm more than ready...

A Beautiful Mind. No, no, no, no. This isn't right. Sadness. Much sadness.

Well, then, we're done here. I don't know how many, if any, stuck with me through this running commentary, but it was a hoot. Thanks, I'll be here next Sunday too! Wait -- next year, I mean. If I get some mails from people out there, that is. If you read this while it was being posted, please send me a note! I would very much appreciate it. Good night/morning!  ¶ 06:39   

  The last batch of awards is coming up: Best actor, best actress, best director, and best movie. Let's hope the last two end up in Peter Jackson's hairy hands. Wrap it up already, Bob. You've said your piece. We want the big show to come to a close!

All right, here we go, best actress (I'm rooting for Nicole Kidman in this one). The non-loser is: Halle Berry. Didn't see Monster's Ball. She's crying uncontrollably! What a speech. Hmm. She needs to get a grip. It's a freakin' metal statue! "This moment is bigger than me." For crying out loud, it's embarrassing! Somebody should stuff a sock down her throat. John Williams needs to cue the music. She doesn't stop. She's screaming at the producers to not boot her off the stage. Ooooooh, stop it! Now! Immediately! I hope she never gets another award.

Righty-ho. I'm now officially tired. And tired of watching the Academy Awards. Generally just...tired. Best actor -- let's get on with it -- best actor, best actor, best actor... Oh God. Why can't they just get to the awards? There's so much...stuff...and fluff...and talk... They seriously don't think about their Scandinavian viewers who want to go to bed. Good thing I don't have to go to work today. I'm spending the day in bed.

Best actor. Finally. Russell Crowe will most probably win. Will Smith...hmm, could be. Denzel Washington, nah-ah. Well, there you go: Denzel Washington got it. Undeservedly. Training Day wasn't exactly a great film. It was a fun flick that went on too long and turned silly at the end. But Denzel's a good actor, no doubt. I just think it should've been for something worthy, and not just symbolic.  ¶ 06:07   

  It's light outside, and I yearn for my bed. Sleeeep! Must sleep! But the biggest awards are still left, so we'll brave the night and stay awake. The show's run 3 hours and 15 minutes now, so it won't be the shortest one ever.

Robert Redford, aka Mr. Wrinkly, is being given the lifetime achievement award. Barbra "Babs" Streisand, aka Mecha-Streisand, is doing a gushing introductory speech. Blaaah. The montages are always nicely done, but often a bit dull. Very conservative stuff.  ¶ 05:53   

  Best foreign language flick, Norway's nominated with Elling. Yay Norway! But Amelie is gonna win. Of course. I'm rooting for France. No Man's Land, Bosnia, won. Okay. Haven't seen it. Might be good. Might be a feel-sorry-for-Bosnia decision. Eh.  ¶ 05:43   

  Best adapted screenplay. I will go on a killing rampage if LOTR doesn't win. I mean, to adapt Tolkien's epic novel to three three-hour movies... Who'd dream of doing that? Dammit...A Beautiful Mind won. Akiva Goldsman wrote Batman and Robin. That should get him automatically disqualified for all time to come. And come on, the work put into LOTR...the amazing adaptation...the great dialogue...the way the complex mythology is communicated to the audience. Murderous rampage, here I come!

Original screenplay. Even playing-field. No clear favourite. Memento could get it, but The Royal Tenenbaums should definitely win. Amazing script. Gosford Park wins? That's...strange. Really strange. It was a good movie, but nothing spectacular, and that was a movie driven by the actors and the direction, not the writing. Not really. Still...nice to see the movie being recognised.  ¶ 05:37   

  Song medley. Yawnsville. Get on with it! The show has crawled to a halt. Sting was sooo dull. Enya singing...when I first heard that she was contributing to the LOTR soundtrack I was veeery skeptical. But it worked well, and this song is quite beautiful. Let's hope it wins, then, all right? Sorted. Now, who's next? Oh, don't tell me, Randy Newman. And it is! Randy's always there. With John Goodman, this time. Fun. From Monsters Inc. Fun to see Big John letting loose, he's got a good voice. Aaah! Gag! Pearl Harbour, Faith Hill. Puke. Puuuke! (I'm getting tired, so forgive me, but...puke!) Vanilla Sky with Paul McCartney. Didn't know he wrote a song for that flick (great movie, by the way; it should've been nominated for something). Dull song. Paul looks good, he's having a blast. Good for him.

And the winner is-- sorry, the Oscar goes to: Randy Newman. Oh well. How many has this guy won?? Does he need another? Come on. Every song sounds the same. He's good, but...LOTR needs more awards!

Just found out that Randy Newman's been nominated 16 times but this is the first time he's won. So I guess he deserved that little golden idol. Yay for him.  ¶ 05:18   

  My brother has fallen asleep. He couldn't go the full mile...ten miles...whatever. What a wimp! Hmpf.

I've been drinking waaay too much Coke and eating waaay too much snacks. My stomach is revolting. As in, causing a revolt, not-- ah, forget it. There's a tribute to Sidney Poitier. Great actor, but they always exaggerate these things too much, and the fact that they cut to Denzel Washington and/or Samuel Jackson every time the word "African-American actor/actress" is mentioned (or Whoopie makes a "black joke") is kinda embarrassing. After all, they're all just actors.

Aaah! The reception is going haywire. And this is cable! I guess they're trying to force me to switch to digital...and they're succeeding. Bastards.

Short film...live action: The Accountant. These are films you never get to see. Too bad. Shorts can be really cool to watch. Animated (the nominees look fun): For the Birds. Done at Pixar, I believe. Wanna see that. Big time.  ¶ 04:52   

  It's getting late, but I'm wide awake. I guess it's...Oscar Fever(R)!

Best original score. A.I. had a decent score, but a bit dull to listen to. A Beautiful Mind had a great score. Harry Potter, another John Williams score...nah. LOTR, works well with the film, but not particularly well alone...not that that's the point. Monsters Inc. soundtrack I haven't listened to. It's Howard Shore, LOTR! Yippiee! I just wrote "yippiee". Hmm. Good speech, short and emotional. Why can't more people be brief?

"It's nice to see Hugh scoring again." Hah! :) "All of our fantasies...Denzel Washington." Not my fantasies, girl!  ¶ 04:44   

  Special effects -- The Lord of the Rings won! Yay! I mean, of course...but you never know about the Academy. Great work.

Why do five guys try to do five different speeches when they know they'll get cut off? Don't they ever watch these things? They should try to do a collective Thank You, and avoid the frustration of the music cutting in after the second guy has thanked his kids for existing... Oh well. I guess your mind's a bit fried when you're on stage in front of, like, a billion viewers.

I'm watching the awards on Swedish TV (apparently Norwegians aren't interested in watching this, so no channels bought the rights on this side of the border), and when there's a commercial break, they have a discussion about what's going on. Pretty dumb stuff. They should've just put a live camera in my apartment; that would've been more entertaining, heh. And they always cut back to the show a little late. Amateurs.  ¶ 04:23   

  Sound goes to Black Hawk Down. Should probably have gone to Moulin Rouge but, hey, who can judge these things? Sound editing: Pearl Harbor. Hmm.

Now it's best supporting actor. Ian McKellen, Ian McKellen, come on, come on, come on! Jim Broadbent is great, but I haven't seen Iris, and neither has anyone else. Ethan Hawke in Training Day? Nah. Sexy Beast Ben Kingsley? Didn't see that one either. Ian, you can beat these guys. Believe in yourself! Jon Voight in Ali. Pft. And the non-loser is...Jim Broadbent? Huh. Well, he's an excellent actor, but LOTR was robbed. Again!

Noooooo! Weird entertainment stage number, with Cirque du Soleil. Pain! Misery! Grrr. Do they really need to pad the running time on this show? Okay, they're pretty good, but it's still French-Canadian avant garde weird pretentious stuff. I'm afraid someone's gonna get hurt... Flashy stuff. I'm impressed. Still unnecessary, though. Whoa, yellow bird-guys bungie-jumping from the ceiling. Cooool. Would be even better if the supports broke and they crushed some high-profile actors!  ¶ 04:09   

  Art design. This must go to LOTR! But it could be scooped by Moulin Rouge. And the Oscar goes to...grrr...Moulin Rouge.

I think I might exceed the posting-limit on the page here, so I'll have to combine more posts into one. Screws with the chronology, but is anyone even reading this while it's happening? Ah, who cares. It's still fun to do a running commentary.

Whoopie's back. She's good fun, but I wish it was Steve Martin again. Oooh, now it's best animated feature! Great that it's got it's own category. Shrek will probably win. I haven't (blush) seen Monsters Inc. yet -- blame the Oslo theatres. Jimmy Neutron won't even show up here. Nathan Lane presenting, funny guy... And the not-loser is: Shrek!
  ¶ 03:48   

  Documentaries. I never get to see enough of those; they're rarely shown at the cinema, and most don't make it to DVD. Only on TV can you catch some of these flicks. Shame. I haven't seen a single one of the nominees for documentary feature, unfortunately. Murder on a Sunday Morning won, and I hope I'll be able to see it somehow, sometime. Documentary short went to Thoth (?), and there's a weird guy in a red costume on the stage. Straaaaange. He's also got a violin.  ¶ 03:41   

  Great montage of films shot in New York City. Manhattan, Annie Hall, Ghostbusters, French Connection...too many to remember! And great introduction by Woody. Excellent stuff. Now it's best cinematography; it'll probably be Moulin Rouge or Black Hawk Down. But I'm still rooting for LOTR-- Yes! It's The Lord of the Rings!  ¶ 03:28   

  Woody Allen at the Academy Awards! Cool. Funny, too. Love the guy.  ¶ 03:19   

  Costume design. LOTR must win. It must! Or there will be hell to pay. I mean, Gosford Park? Suits? Gimme a break... Doh! Moulin Rouge won. Nice costumes, but they can't approach the creativity and originality of Middle Earth's various races and civilisations. Robbed! Robbed, I tell you!  ¶ 03:16   

  Film editing went to Black Hawk Down. Can't comment on that since I didn't see it yet; I'm catching it this week. And now the Oscar for best make-up (if LOTR doesn't win this there's no justice in the world). Yay! First award to The Lord of the Rings. Rightly so, as the make-up was incredible.  ¶ 03:02   

  Well, there's the first award off: Jennifer Connelly in A Beautiful Mind. I have to admit that I haven't seen the movie yet, but I still rooted for her: She's beautiful and talented, and I've been madly in love with her ever since Labyrinth.  ¶ 02:52   

  It's that time of the year again. No, not mating-season: It's Oscar-night! Yay! Me being in Norway, this means a night without sleep, as the Academy Awards are broadcast from 2 AM and onwards, until (probably) 6 AM. Meaning it starts it, oh, five minutes? I've got the snacks and the Coca Cola ready, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for The Lord of the Rings to sweep the awards. Keep watching this space for on-the-fly updates!  ¶ 01:57   

  It's one of those Friday where I haven't made any plans, I don't know who to call, it's too late to go to the supermarket to buy dinner (they close at 9 PM in Norway, in less than 20 minutes), and it's even too late to go see a movie (the last show here in Oslo is usually -- again -- at 9 PM, unless there's a late-show featuring a soon-to-be-released flick; pretty sad). Oh well. I guess it's back home to have a sandwich, chat with the cat, and watch a DVD or two. Not bad, but then again not ideal either. I really miss living together with someone else: it can get on your nerves, but you never have trouble finding someone to do something with. Being by yourself gives you freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want it...in theory. But in reality, you're more limited. I think.  ¶ 20:44   

  In Norway, it's an Easter tradition to give out colourful cardboard eggs filled with candy to your friends and family. Today, our HR manager went around handing out mini-eggs containing a fine selection of chewable sweets to everyone. Joy! The official holiday doesn't begin until Thursday, but a lot of people take the whole week off to get ten full days in a row. That's my plan, too. Although, unlike some, I'm not going to spend Easter in a cabin in the mountains. Instead, I'm staying at home, writing, cleaning, sleeping, recharging the proverbial batteries.

Right, then -- back to the candy.  ¶ 13:38   

  Beautiful weather outside. This really ruins any chance of a productive working day. Bollocks.  ¶ 12:43   

  Yesterday a buddy of mine, Tore Blystad -- currently the lead artist on Anarchy Online -- snapped some black-and-white photos of me (as well as Sverre Kvernmo and Didrik Tollefsen, fellow Funcom inmates) for a couple of new interviews. I'll try to have the gallery up within a week, with a few more photos. Should be fun. In the meantime, here's one:



Hey, I've got my own website, and I can damn well post anything I want to! So there. Just be thankful I didn't put up some of the more "intimate" photos featuring myself and Sverre...  ¶ 16:57   

  Oops. I never got around to the "more stuff to talk about" on Friday. Or Saturday. Or Sunday. My bad. In my defense, I try to stay away from computers on weekends. I see enough of those things on weekdays.

Easter is approaching, and for us Norwegians that means time off from work. Yay. I'm looking forward to that -- so much, in fact, that I might take a few additional days off in order to have a full ten days to just sleep, relax, watch movies, and get a whole lot of writing done. Sweetness. There's one screenplay I've been working on for the past two years that I want to do a full rewrite on: it's called The Dark, and it's a mythical, mystical, contemporary fairy-tale horror flick. With a twist. And a ghost. Yes. It sounds convoluted, but I think it's a sleek and atmospheric piece, definitely the most promising script I'm working on. So I think I'll sit down and polish that baby until it shines. Hopefully -- fingers crossed -- you'll hear more about it soon.

Aside from The Dark, I've also started work on my second novel. I'm in no rush, however, so it's more of a "when I have the time" kind of thing. I'm pretty happy with what I have so far, but it's not much. Just a rough outline and some scattered chapters. I'll write more about it later.

The third project I'll be working on during my Easter holiday is called Magicia. Another screenplay, but it's very unfinished, and though I have the entire plot worked out, it'll be a good while before it's done. It's a very cool concept; a love-story with lots of magic and darkness in it, and a unique setting. But it's definitely not low-budget, so The Dark is a much more important screenplay to finish up right now.  ¶ 11:12   

  Late start today. For the second night in a row, I couldn't get to sleep, and I ended up oversleeping this morning. Fortunately, I'm much more awake today than I was yesterday (the fact that it's Friday doesn't hurt either). Currently listening to Shakira and writing an interview that's way, way, waaay overdue (sorry Maggie!).

Back to work. Check back later. I have more stuff to talk about.  ¶ 12:56   

  Dear God, I'm tired! For some reason, I couldn't fall asleep last night. My mind was buzzing. It was awful. And today I completely lack focus. I have a hard time writing a single paragraph. And I keep yawning. Loudly. Bloody irritating.  ¶ 14:41   

  I just started watching the new WB show Smallville a few weeks ago, and it's surprisingly good. The writing is top notch, they've got a fine bunch of actors, and the production values are excellent, with some of the best effects I've ever seen on TV. They've taken a few pages out of the Buffy and Roswell books, but who cares? I'm not even bitter anymore that they dropped the proposed Bruce Wayne show to produce this one. I'm generally a happy camper.

Been listening to Emiliana Torrini quite a bit these past few days. She's an Icelandic singer with a Björk vibe. I caught one of her songs on the radio by chance, Unemployed In Summertime, and loved it, so I went searching with Morpheus to find more. I will buy her album, of course. I don't steal. But I download MP3s to check out new music.

Saw Ocean's 11 last night. Fun fluff. Liked it. 'nuff said.  ¶ 11:36   

  Blogger is still slow as hell, and exhibiting some strange quirks, so keep that in mind if something doesn't look right. It's not my fault.

I activated my web-camera this morning to take some new pictures for the Bio, and this is one of 'em. I look dead tired. And I was. Am. Tired. But it's still me, sitting in front of my PC at work, trying hard to write. Something. Anything. In my t-shirt, no less, because it's actually quite warm in here.



I'll put the gallery page back up again some time soon. It's been a while since it was active, and this time I'll try to fill it with something more interesting than webcam pictures; like photos of my friends and family, holiday snapshots, nude pic-- no, wait, not that. If enough of my Regular Readers are interested, I could also put together a RR gallery: send me a (small) image, preferably JPEG, and a brief byline (or a poem or quote, if you so prefer), and we'll see what happens.  ¶ 15:29   

  I want a holiday. I really, really, really want a holiday. Somewhere warm and quiet and beautiful.

Speaking of holidays (nice segway, huh?), here's a picture I took the last time I had one. A holiday, that is. I used a $20 camera, which proves that not everything that's cheap is crap.



This is from Yosemite, by the way, in California. Nice place. Supposedly full of bears, though we didn't spot a single one. And we looked. Long and hard. For almost a day.

And yes, this was all just an elaborate excuse to test out the image-posting capabilities of pro-Blogger.  ¶ 17:38   

  It's warm enough outside now that we have the window open in my office, just to get a bit of fresh air (something we're definitely in short supply of). Very nice. The sky is blue, the sun is golden, and I feel great. Afternoons are lovely. My favourite time of the day.  ¶ 17:00   

  Friday's entry got shafted because of problems with Blogger, but no worries 'cause I'm back, baby, and I'm ready to rock your world.

Ahem.

Thursday night I caught the last showing of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring in Oslo's best (and biggest) cinema. I actually don't think I've written anything about the movie yet, although I did see it on opening day, and once again just prior to Christmas. This time around, we had (arguably) the best seats in the house (row seven, dead centre), and with a fully packed theatre it was a great way to wave FOTR goodbye...until the extended version appears on DVD in November. At which point I'll probably see it way too many times, especially the Moria-sequence.

It's hard to write anything intelligent and original about the movie. So many people have said so much already, and my comments would be entirely superfluous. Suffice it to say, it was my favourite movie of 2001, and I'm counting the days until The Two Towers opens (December 18th). And it was just as good this time around as it was the second time I saw it...perhaps even better. I noticed more of the details (and, unfortunately, also some of the few minor flaws; always a problem with watching movies again and again), and I was able to enjoy it without being completely overwhelmed.

On Friday, I received a new batch of DVDs including, funnily enough, the only Peter Jackson movie I've never seen: Forgotten Silver, a made-for-Kiwi-TV "mockumentary" profiling a fictional New Zealand filmmaker responsible for, amongst other things, the first sound movie, the first colour movie, and the invention of the close-up. Nothing groundbreaking, but good fun for movie geeks like myself. I also saw Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, just to balance out all the brilliance of Peter Jackson, and it was surprisingly funny. I generally enjoy Kevin Smith's work, but I didn't like his last flick, Dogma (great idea, poor execution), so I was skeptical. Fortunately, he proved me wrong, and showed that when it comes to verbal comedy (and clit-jokes) Kevin Smith is the man. Great DVD, too, with plenty of additional material. Worth getting if you liked Clerks and Mallrats.

On Sunday (yep, it was another big movie weekend for me) I saw Say Anything and Session 9. The former is, of course, Cameron Crowe's classic comedy starring John Cusack and Ione Skye. As sweet, romantic, and funny now as it was thirteen years ago. The perfect sunny Sunday afternoon flick. The latter is a "psychological chiller" (that's what the box says) set in a real-life mental institution near Boston, MA. It's actually pretty scary, although not nearly as shocking and surprising as the filmmakers obviously intended it to be. You can pretty much see where it's going, but who cares? It's atmospheric, well written and acted, and good horror flicks are few and far between. Recommended -- although if you're as chicken as I am, you'll want to see it together with someone else.

I also saw episodes of The Sopranos and South Park yesterday, so I did spend waaay too many hours in front of the TV. Oh well. That's what Sundays are for. Right?  ¶ 12:59   

  Men in cars are dangerous creatures, bound by ancient, primal instincts that go back millions of years.

I am, of course, a man. No changes there, nope, no sirree. I like a warm pint of Guinness, a smelly Cuban (cigar, not person), and a good, honest game of strip solitaire. Well, no, I actually don't much enjoy any of those things, but that's beside the point. I'm still a man. Also, I drive. And that's why I can speak about this topic with some authority.

If a man in a car is driving slowly (for some reason or other -- by definition, men don't like to drive slowly, but sometimes they have to, especially if there is a woman in the car), and another man in a car (or, for that sake, a woman: I don't discriminate) tries to pass him, the first man will automatically speed up, even when it's obvious that doing so is detrimental to the health of both individuals. Passing a man in a car, then, often becomes a desperate race against time and distance, as both cars, driving in parallel, speed towards the inevitable curve or dip in the road.

Eventually, the second car will pass the first car, after which the man in the first car will speed up to keep apace with the second car. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the man at his primitive worst.

You see, in ancient times, a male who was defeated in any kind of contest -- and men, stupidly enough, consider even driving to work a form of contest -- would find himself subject to ridicule, he'd suffer the loss of prestige and power, he'd be denied female companionship, and he might be excluded, perhaps even exiled, from the tribe. In other words, every day, every deed, every lousy little incident was a contest between males to prove themselves to each other and to the females.

Instinct is a powerful thing, then. Even today, when faced with a potentially competitive situation, most men will instinctively try to gain the upper hand. What does this tell us about modern society, and about the progress made in the last ten thousand years? What fundamental truths might we uncover if we--

All right, so I'm just pissed off at this one guy this morning who was driving really slowly -- 60 kph in an 80 zone -- and who increased his speed dramatically the moment I tried to pass him. Bastard.

I could say Men...but that would sound very, very strange.  ¶ 12:06   

  Yesterday, on my way into the local supermarket, I was accosted by two young girls selling pins. "Do you want to support cancer research?" they asked.

All right, how do you answer a question like that? "No" implies that you don't give a crap about cancer research. "Yes" means you're either forced to buy a pin, or you have to append your answer with something lame like "but I don't have any cash on me at the moment", or "I already made a donation at the office", or "I'm allergic to pins". It's a loaded question, deliberately designed to put neurotic people like myself in a moral bind. We don't want to seem callous, but neither do we want to buy any damn pins.

"Not right now," I told them, and walked into the store feeling a bit guilty.

I knew I had to deal with the question on the way out again -- like hyenas spotting the weak member of a flock, these pin-selling, cancer research-supporting, bubble-gum chewing kids had singled me out for the kill -- and that's when I started to think about how we're often shamed into doing things that we think of as The Right Thing To Do.

I don't usually walk around in supermarkets thinking philosophical thoughts. Usually, I'm thinking "where's the cheese", or "ooh, nice avocado", or I'm scouting out chicks (I really don't get out enough). Yesterday, though, I spent at least seventy-two seconds thinking about why a question like "do you want to support cancer research?" is an attempt to force us into doing something that we don't want to do, simply because saying "no" is a hard thing to do. Of course cancer research is important. Like, duh. Cancer is bad. We can all agree on that. I don't think that there's anyone out there who thinks cancer is a good thing -- if there is, he or she is probably also building bombs out of shoe-boxes, or injecting cyanide into candy. But guilt shouldn't be the motivating factor for contributing to a worthy cause; there has to be an element of free will in there somewhere.

So on my way out, when the two girls asked the same question over again (knowing that they'd made me uncomfortable the first time around), I grinned and said a big, happy "nope!".

That's right, cancer research ain't my thing, nah-ah, don't want to support that. At least, not by purchasing a pin. I'll give at the office, thank you very much.  ¶ 11:43   

  My new broadband connection at home works like a charm; although it's "only" a 768 Kbps link, speeds often exceed that by a good margin. It just pisses me off that I waited for well over two months for the damn phone-company to pull its head out of its arse and set me up with ADSL, and when I finally called the cable-company instead, they had me up and running in three days.

I've actually never had broadband at home, only at the office. For years, I've used ISDN to connect to the Internet, and though that's been reasonably fast enough to surf, the per-minute charges have always been a royal pain in the backside. So now I'm a happy camper. Yay.

Listening to Dido, drinking my coffee, trying to psyche myself up for the day ahead.  ¶ 10:41   

  I watched Moulin Rouge! for the first time this weekend, and it was bloody brilliant.

I'd had my doubts. I love the director's previous flick, Romeo+Juliet, but, judging from the trailers and the reviews, I wasn't too sure about Moulin Rouge!. I'm a big fan of musicals, but using pop songs as a basis for musical numbers didn't sound like the greatest idea in the world. And the setting seemed somewhat trite.

I was wrong. The movie worked. Extremely well.

Visually and aurally, Moulin Rouge! is totally unique. It is, to use an awful cliché, a "feast for the eyes and the ears". Most of the songs were completely reworked from the original material, and perfectly suited to the story and the setting: my favourite numbers were a medley of love-songs performed by Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman on top of an elephant (you just have to see it); "Like a Virgin" sung by the great British character-actor Jim Broadbent and a slimy Richard Roxburgh; and a tango-version of Roxanne.

I realise that this is a movie you either love or hate -- it's too loud, extreme, and bombastic for any moderate opinions -- but if you're a fan of musicals, if you liked Baz Luhrmann's previous movies, and you're willing to keep an open mind...then see it. Now. In the cinema, or on DVD and a big TV. With surround sound. And the volume way up. Screw the neighbours. Better yet, invite them over. Films are more fun with other people. No...really.  ¶ 11:38   

  I just realised that it's actually March already. As in the year's third month. As in we're one sixth of the way through 2002. Whoa.

There's nothing scarier than time. Not even spiders, and spiders are pretty damn scary. If time had eight legs, was hairy, and moved really, really fast, I don't think I'd be able to continue existing in temporal space. I'd have to change dimensions, go somewhere non-chronological.

While I wish time wouldn't race along in quite such an expedient manner (what's time trying to prove anyways? That it's fast? We know that already; no need to make a show of it) I am happy that we're done with February -- the squat and muscular schoolyard bully of months -- and finally catching a distant glimpse of spring on the horizon. It's a way off, and it hasn't seen us yet -- March needs glasses -- but we're closing in.

And, oh, it's Friday. Yay. I'm getting broadband Internet installed in my apartment today, finally (after waiting two months for the phone-company to install ADSL, I gave up and called the cable-company on Tuesday; three days later, I'm all set), and after my regular Friday work-out I'm heading off to Onkel Donald, a very cool, very relaxing bar-slash-cafe in Oslo, to hang out with some friends.  ¶ 17:57   

  All contests are rigged, and the winners are probably freemasons with mystical ties to the secret world government.

For the first time in, like, ever, I tried my luck at an online contest this morning. All you had to do was keep updating a page with a picture of a PlayStation 2 until it changed to a picture of a number, and then send off an e-mail with that number. Easy Parcheesi. First to get it right wins a PS2. I already have a PS2, but I never say no to seconds. The picture would change at some point between 9 AM and 1 PM. I didn't come across the contest until around a quarter to eleven, but the picture hadn't changed yet, and my chances were good. Or at least as good as anyone else's.

Now, I didn't count on winning, or even getting close to winning. I never win. Anything. Ever. Second, I didn't have time to just sit in front of the PC and update the page continuously for hours and hours. I figured I'd leave it all to luck and click refresh whenever I got the chance.

About ten minutes past noon, I was in a writing funk, and I sat clicking the refresh button in the window repeatedly for a couple of minutes while my brain cooled down and inspiration returned. Suddenly, shockingly, the image changed from a PS2 to a number. Yay! I happened to be in the right place at exactly the right time! For the first time in my life, I'd gotten lucky!

Being of a reasonably sound mind, I'd already written up the required e-mail, and all I needed to do was fill in the number and click send. That took me all of three seconds, and then, whoosh!, off it went.

Now, I know that people out there have probably written scripts to alert them when that page changes. But I was right there at the exact moment it did change. I had the e-mail ready. There was absolutely no delay whatsoever, and my answer was probably registered less than ten seconds after the fact. There is no way anyone could have beaten me.

But then, of course, somebody did beat me. By three minutes.

Wha...?

So. It has to be a conspiracy. There's no other answer. Someone, somewhere, has dark ties with the demonic puppet-masters who control world politics, international media, and the financial networks that permeate our global economy.

And it has absolutely nothing to do with me being a sore loser. Whatsoever. Dammit; I really needed a pick-me-upper today.  ¶ 13:24