I just - well, a few hours ago - filled my apartment with smoke.
For the first time since moving in, I attempted to light a fire. In the fireplace, of course. I'm not
that stupid. It didn't quite work out, and I ended up with more smoke than fire (there's probably something really symbolic about that, but I don't care). The smoke didn't exit the way it's supposed to, i.e. through the chimney, and though I experimented with the damper (I had to look that word up), it kept billowing into the living-room. The fire-alarm went off, which probably pissed off my neighbours, seeing as it was close to midnight. In the end, the fire went out, and the smoke now hangs lazily at ceiling-level, refusing to dissipate. It smells horrible, and my eyes are watery.
I'm not completely useless, and I can usually light a fire. There must be something horribly, horribly wrong with my fireplace. Yes, that's it. The fireplace. Not me.