Several readers share this gentleman's concerns:

I'm a regular reader and have sent you a request for a diploma. I am only sending you this message because it has been about a week since I e-mailed you for it. I am guessing that you have several different inboxes and don't check the diploma one as it has been a while since you posted it.

Don't worry, folks - if you've sent me a request, I've probably received it, and you will get your diploma! For the past week I've been on a "holiday" (at home), and I've only just returned to work today. Your Regular Reader diploma is in production, so sit tight - it'll arrive in your inbox some time soon. How soon? I've learned not to make promises regarding time and delivery. But you'll get it. Oh yes, you will get it.

And if you too want this coveted Regular Reader diploma...all you have to do is ask. Yes, a totally non-ironic testament to your regular online reading habits can be yours now, for a limited time only, for the amazing price of zero dollars and zero cents! That's right: Zero! Nil! Zilch! Zip! Nada! Nothing! In other words: Free!

(Delivery within your lifetime...probably. Electronic diploma only. Non-transferrable. Will not pass as currency anywhere in the known universe. Batteries not included, though, strangely enough, every diploma comes with a fuel-cell. Recipient must be 18 and older, or pretend to be, or at least be somewhat mature and not act like a baby about it. One diploma per reader, unless you ask very nicely, in which case you still only get one, but at least you'll have made a fool of yourself. Diploma does not automatically grant recipient the right to practice law within the United States, the European Union, or China - but if you live anywhere else, knock yourself out.)  ¶ 10:02