The last batch of awards is coming up: Best actor, best actress, best director, and best movie. Let's hope the last two end up in Peter Jackson's hairy hands. Wrap it up already, Bob. You've said your piece. We want the big show to come to a close!

All right, here we go, best actress (I'm rooting for Nicole Kidman in this one). The non-loser is: Halle Berry. Didn't see Monster's Ball. She's crying uncontrollably! What a speech. Hmm. She needs to get a grip. It's a freakin' metal statue! "This moment is bigger than me." For crying out loud, it's embarrassing! Somebody should stuff a sock down her throat. John Williams needs to cue the music. She doesn't stop. She's screaming at the producers to not boot her off the stage. Ooooooh, stop it! Now! Immediately! I hope she never gets another award.

Righty-ho. I'm now officially tired. And tired of watching the Academy Awards. Generally just...tired. Best actor -- let's get on with it -- best actor, best actor, best actor... Oh God. Why can't they just get to the awards? There's so much...stuff...and fluff...and talk... They seriously don't think about their Scandinavian viewers who want to go to bed. Good thing I don't have to go to work today. I'm spending the day in bed.

Best actor. Finally. Russell Crowe will most probably win. Will Smith...hmm, could be. Denzel Washington, nah-ah. Well, there you go: Denzel Washington got it. Undeservedly. Training Day wasn't exactly a great film. It was a fun flick that went on too long and turned silly at the end. But Denzel's a good actor, no doubt. I just think it should've been for something worthy, and not just symbolic.  ¶ 06:07