All contests are rigged, and the winners are probably freemasons with mystical ties to the secret world government.

For the first time in, like, ever, I tried my luck at an online contest this morning. All you had to do was keep updating a page with a picture of a PlayStation 2 until it changed to a picture of a number, and then send off an e-mail with that number. Easy Parcheesi. First to get it right wins a PS2. I already have a PS2, but I never say no to seconds. The picture would change at some point between 9 AM and 1 PM. I didn't come across the contest until around a quarter to eleven, but the picture hadn't changed yet, and my chances were good. Or at least as good as anyone else's.

Now, I didn't count on winning, or even getting close to winning. I never win. Anything. Ever. Second, I didn't have time to just sit in front of the PC and update the page continuously for hours and hours. I figured I'd leave it all to luck and click refresh whenever I got the chance.

About ten minutes past noon, I was in a writing funk, and I sat clicking the refresh button in the window repeatedly for a couple of minutes while my brain cooled down and inspiration returned. Suddenly, shockingly, the image changed from a PS2 to a number. Yay! I happened to be in the right place at exactly the right time! For the first time in my life, I'd gotten lucky!

Being of a reasonably sound mind, I'd already written up the required e-mail, and all I needed to do was fill in the number and click send. That took me all of three seconds, and then, whoosh!, off it went.

Now, I know that people out there have probably written scripts to alert them when that page changes. But I was right there at the exact moment it did change. I had the e-mail ready. There was absolutely no delay whatsoever, and my answer was probably registered less than ten seconds after the fact. There is no way anyone could have beaten me.

But then, of course, somebody did beat me. By three minutes.

Wha...?

So. It has to be a conspiracy. There's no other answer. Someone, somewhere, has dark ties with the demonic puppet-masters who control world politics, international media, and the financial networks that permeate our global economy.

And it has absolutely nothing to do with me being a sore loser. Whatsoever. Dammit; I really needed a pick-me-upper today.  ¶ 13:24